OCTOBER 13, 1995 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

SPEAK OUT

Coming out is easier, knowing many have been there before

by Allison Holzer

When I was very young, my parents began to teach me the history of my family. They started with the easy parts: the number of brothers and sisters and parents I had, and where they lived when they were growing up. Gradually, they built up to my third cousins and their children, and then went back to my great-grandparents and where they had lived. Also, through the various history courses I have taken, I have learned the history of my particular ethnic groupthat is, Anglo-Saxon.

None of these educational experiences seemed especially important at the time this information was passed on to me. However, as I look back, the knowledge of my past has given me many indispensible resources: First: it has given me roots-connections to others who shared the same past and the same kind of experiences, and a pride in being who I am. Second, it gave me the comfort of knowing that someone had been there before me, and a direction in which my past was pointing that I could either follow or ignore. Finally, it taught me to choose my direction carefully, for though I am learning my history today, I will be part of it tomorrow.

When I came out to myself a year and a half ago, I knew almost nothing of gay and lesbian history. I had never heard of the lesbian bar culture of the '40s and '50s, or the Stonewall riots, and I had never paid attention to the marches that had been making history right before my eyes. Because I didn't have this knowledge, I also did not have the support that I desperately needed. I had no direction-I didn't know where I had come from, so how could I know where I was headed? It also did not occur to me that the

confusion I was experiencing had been experienced before by hundreds of thousands of people, and that I, like those countless before me, would pull through.

I see my friends walk through the halls at school. They have their rich family and cultural histories, as I do, but most of them also have the history of their heterosexuality. Maybe it wasn't taught to them as formally as the other parts, but it was taught nonetheless, from the brief descriptions in history texts about how men courted women in the "old days," to every movie ever made in which a boy and a girl fall in love.

Through this they learn their roles as men and women, the ways they are expected to behave and the ways they fit into society. But a big part of me and many other young people in this world is not taught to us in this manner. When we discover that we are gay, lesbian, or bisexual, we have no concept of how we are supposed to behave, or what our place is. We have no assurances that there are those who came before us, and therefore some of us think of ourselves as abnormal or awful people. Knowing our history would not automatically make us happy, healthy human beings, whether we be gay, straight or bisexual, but it gives us a source of strength: something to fall back on when we falter.

It is important for me to know gay, lesbian, and bisexual history for many of the same reasons it is important for me to know the history of my family and my culture. First, if I know where I come from, I can better determine where I want to go. I can see what has been done in the past, and either accept or reject it, with the knowledge that I too will soon be part of that history.

Second, knowing my history gives me pride in who I am. I can be proud in what my

predecessors have accomplished, which makes me proud of who I am and what I am a part of, which is an extremely important part of self-acceptance.

Finally, the knowledge of my past gives me roots, and a connection with others who have the same roots. These connections foster contact with people who I might otherwise have nothing in common with, and also give me a chance to support and be supported by people who have had the same kinds of experiences as I have.

In short, gay, lesbian, and bisexual history is important to me because it is a part of who I am, and who I wish to become.

Allison Holzer is a 17-year-old senior at Westtown School in Westtown, Pa. She was the winner of the First Annual Gay and Lesbian History Month essay contest sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Teachers Network, a New York-based group that works to end homophobia in schools.

SPELLBOUND

CELEBRATION OF SAMDAIN

ZON

g0 November 3-

1995

Spellbound is a Gothic SAMHAIN CELEbration happening in Cleveland OH, November 3 5th, 1995. Spellbound will feature 3 days of events catering to your Dark side. We begin Friday Nov. 3rd at Sun&Moon Coffeehouse, 686 E.185th, with a Gothic Open Mic (bring poetry!), a Drumjam (bring drums!), and a Midnight ritual. Highlight of the weekend will be a CONCERT AT THE Phantasy Nightclub, 11802 DETROIT, ON SATURDAY NOVEMBER 4th. Featuring: Circus Apocalypse, Minstrels of Enchantment, Apocalypse Theater, Morphine Angel, and Garden of DREAMS. Other events include a gothic MALL (AT THE PHANTASY AND AT Sun&Moon cafe), a Fashion Show, a tour of Lakeview Cemetery, and several OPPORTUNITIES To cluster with other denizens of the night.

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COMMUNITY FORUM

Continued from facing page

abuse, fornication, murder, etc. within the straight community-within families.

You have, in your arrogance, judged and condemned others but have conveniently (and so typically) overlooked the scripture that would condemn your ways. Remember the "Seven Deadly Sins" listed in Proverbs 6:16? Rather than have you dust off those pages of the Bible, I'll list them for you: Arrogance, lying, murdering, eagerness to do wrong, plotting evil, causing discord among brothers, using a false witness (in this case, the Bible). Well what do you know? Ofthe seven deadly sins, you have committed six! Furthermore, your brand of lies and hateful rhetoric has led to the only other deadly sin, of which you are not directly guilty—murder. Shame on you! But then, who am I to judge, right?

From the lofty pedestal on which your self-righteous butt is perched so high above the homos, you would need the Hubble Telescope to see the passages that make up the very essence of the Bible: the passages about love and forgiveness, and minding your own business! i.e. Romans 14:10: "You have no right to criticize your brother or look down on him. Remember, each of us will stand personally before the Judgement Seat of God."

Just for kicks, let's imagine that scripture hasn't been manipulated and that being gay really is a sin. Have you forgotten Romans 3:27-28?: "Then what can we boast about doing to earn our salvation? Nothing at all. Why? Because our acquittal is not based on our good deeds; it is based on what Christ has done and our faith in him. So it is that we are saved by faith in Christ and not by the good things we do."

You, in your arrogance, bash gays with your Bible, exile them from your churches and forget that Jesus befriended prostitutes and swindlers. Worst of all, you would have the world believe that "gay" and "Christian" is a contradiction. Your mission is to alienate

gays from Christ and sadly, in very many cases, it has worked. But remember this: you can believe the Bible when it says, "As you sow, so shall you reap."

R. Wagner Proud Gay Christian Cleveland

Community Forum

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Letters must include a street address and phone, for verification only. They can be sent via U.S. mail, fax, or E-mail to the addresses in the masthead on the facing page.

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